Sunday, July 8, 2012

Triad not V: Review of "Savages"

*contains spoilers*
If I read one more tweet about how "Savages" is about a V I am going to throw something. In this Oliver Stone movie, two pot growers (Ben and Chon ) try to rescue their kidnapped lover, O, from a drug cartel.
To my eyes, their relationship dynamic was close to the one we have at home minus the drugs, violence, explosions and cartels of course. "We love each other," O tells the audience and their actions spell it out in detail. Ben asks Chon if he told him he loves him, Chon replies he did that morning. "I mean it," Ben says firmly.
Relationships are defined as a bond based on love and trust. There's mutual respect. In that light, then the three of them are a triad not a V. Triads are three people in a relationship with each other, a V consists of two people in a relationship with one person but not having a relationship with each other. Ben and Chon are like brothers, sharing everything including the love of their lives. Their relationship should be defined by their love for each other, not completely ignored because they're not having sex. O is a part of them, they are a part of her. The guys compliment each other, balance each other. Just like a good, solid relationship will do when you have the right person.
When Ben falls apart, he does on Chon's shoulder. When Chon, former Navy SEAL, needs that reminder that there are other ways of being Ben is there to guide. In one scene, Chon is sitting on the patio and Ben brings him a beer. It's a small gesture but one that made me remember being brought cups of tea while writing. It's something someone who loves you will do for you.
Let's not forget O.
O describes Chon as earth and Ben as spirit but she is the water that flows through them and brings them together. Her love for them shines in every smile and touch. "I love you guys," she says. She has both a physical and emotionally relationship with them. In her heart, she loves them both completely.  She is a part of them, filling in their lives that missing piece. "My guys will come for me," she tells the head of the cartel without a shred of doubt. In that light, they are a triad.
If they were a V, Ben and Chon would not have their close bond with each other. Yes, they might have some sort of casual relationship but nothing to the depth of what they have. I seriously doubt they would have gone after O to the lengths they did.
I get annoyed when poly people talk about love but will define relationships based on sex. You CAN love someone without having sex with them. Honestly. Proof is in my house, sleeping in their rooms right now.
Yes, sex can be part of a relationship but love is also a component. In this film, three people love each other deeply. They share their lives together. They are three people who make one good, solid relationship not two guys sharing a girl. I believe this because this is how it is for us. I have two guys who love me to pieces and they are my heart and soul. O said that for me, beautifully: "In them, I have one complete man."
You're right, O. We do.


  1. This film definitely had its moments where it thrilled me and kept me excited, but for some reason, I felt like there could have been more of those moments. The cast is great though, with the exception of some dull performances from Lively and Kitsch. Honestly, that dude is having a bad year. Good review.

    1. I enjoyed the dialogue. I was honestly waiting for the explosions to die down so they could talk.
      Thanks :)

  2. While I have not seen the movie, I am definitely looking forward to seeing it, after this exchange. :)
    A triad connected by LOVE...and there is simply nothing left to say on that subject. You explained yourself extremely well, M.

    Thanks for sharing. Cindy

    1. The book was good but I preferred the movie. Then again, I like it when things go boom :)
      Thanks :)