Sunday, April 1, 2012

Poster Children

Yesterday we were interviewed by a CNN reporter for an article she's doing on poly families. The experience itself was fantastic, there was lots of laughing and just us being ourselves. At one point, I said that we were too boring to be the poster children for polyamory. J pointed out that exposure will be the only way we become accepted. "If not you, then who?" asked the photographer. Good question.
I'm sitting here awake with a cat at my feet and music in my ears. Couldn't sleep, too much thinking and not enough time dedicated to gearing down afterwards. Too much thinking about what I should have said, what I should have not said and all sorts of anxiety about what might happen when her story goes live.
The questions remains: "If not you, then who?" Who indeed. I never felt like we represent the entirety of such a diverse culture of people. Polyamory is so varied, as different as the people in those relationships. I've always felt like if there was a poster, it should just have a group of people holding hands. As for being the poster child, I shy away because I don't want to stand there in the spotlight and declare I AM all things poly. I'm not your role model. You are.
Our way is not the end-all, be-all. There are other ways and being different from ours does not make them less valid. The way I treat my partners may or may not not suit someone. That's fine. I'm not the great poly messiah, standing on high and preaching the word. No one's words are canon, to be whispered in hushed tones.
The answer to the question is that all of us should be the poster children for polyamory. We should step out, show our faces and not let others define who we are. We should blog, make those movies and write those songs that describe our existence to the world. I'll repeat it until I am sick of saying it then say it one more time: the revolution will be normalized.
We have to show the world what it's like to be poly, how it works and who we are. That we're more than an idea but a working, valid lifestyle. As I write this, my partners and kids are sleeping. I can describe the day-to-day for you but I think you would spend lots of time nodding. Our family looks like yours only we have more people. We love each other.
All I can say is live, love and do your thing. Be who you are.
I started to read a book on polyamory but got sidetracked... cartoons were on.


  1. That, my dear, is why you should be.

  2. Maybe not the poster children for polyamory itself, but I would certainly think of you as poster children for negotiating the often hostile mainstream culture and speaking out about who you are without being pushily offensive about it.